3 Years of Living Post Doctorate

Today marks 3 years of having a PhD!

Looking back on this day three years prior, it all feels like a whirlwind. I barely remember anything other than feeling nervous and exhausted.

Aside from having to defend my scientific journey thus far to a group of experts who were all so smart and intimidating, I was also dealing with a lot of personal issues.

I had just come out and separated from my (ex) husband a few months prior and things felt weird. I also had just attended my sister’s wedding a few weeks prior. A wedding I attended solo due to Middle Eastern politics. I was told to pretend things were fine. To be less of myself. To make myself small to make room for others. I reluctantly went along with those stipulations, and chose my family in that instance. That didn’t stop me from feeling like both a failure and a disappointment to everyone I cared about, though.

I wish my family could have been in attendance for my defense. That was the original plan but things don’t always go according to plan. Through the tears, sweat, laughter, and pain I spent 4 years working toward this moment. As the day approached I was once again told to pretend things were fine. To be less of myself.

I refused to hide myself in shame so that others would feel more comfortable. This time I chose myself. My family did not choose me back. They did not attend but I had the most important people supporting me. I woke and ended that day to the lovely Dr. Girlfriend by my side.

In the end, I’m just as proud to have stood up for myself as I am for defending my thesis. So happy 3 years to me!